Untold Beauty : A response to “DARK GIRLS”

natural hair rules_thumb[3]        This past Sunday the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) aired a documentary, by Bill Duke, titled “Dark Girls”. Being a woman of deep toned skin I was both concerned and optimistic about this documentary. Concerned with questions about if our story will be told correctly from the eyes of a male and how will his own personal views on the black woman and her beauty affect the editing of this documentary. Optimistic because I believed it would bring light to how women are treated because of their skin and that racial issues still exist, even within our community. With all this being said… I don’t think I was represented at all in this film.

I hoped that it would show proud BLACK women – of all cultures and backgrounds standing firm in SELF LOVE… it did not. After watching this twice the night it aired I found myself really disappointed. I do not wish to take anything from this film. I can fully appreciate the exploring of how the misperceptions of what beauty entails affects people who do not fit that standard. I definitely appreciate this discussion being brought out on a global scale from the living rooms and dining tables of every nation to the forefront. For that I am grateful. It is no secret that slavery on this continent has been the major factor that has caused this defined line of color discrimination.

Original Goddess    The oppression of Africans in America with unnatural false set of beliefs enforced by Westerners and its media has thrown the largest jab at the BLACK community across the globe. Especially to those who have more melanin. In this short documentary there was a lot of preference talk from men. (For me) This was not helpful to hear their responses when it came to skin color. It made no sense. Of course all black men don’t like the deepest toned women the same as all white men don’t like the palest of skin. Interracial dating is not going anywhere and more people are marrying outside of their cultures. This information was pointless and was just another way to send global negativity of the “dark girl”.

The major problem that I had with this film is that our beauty was confirmed by everyone else except the black women themselves! Which I found retarded and unrealistic. Most of these woman appeared to still have baggage of childhood memories. They displayed them on their sleeves as if those thoughts still effects their current lives. And even when some said that it no longer mattered they were not proud black women, but merely content with who they were. Bill Duke did not show us any strong black women in this short documentary, which saddens me because he himself is a dark man. I feel that his views, shaped by the western world, has had a total effect on his editing.

There was minimal positivity toward the black woman. The highest point was a snippet of an Ethiopian woman who claimed that dark skin in some parts of East African was still a badge of honor, but soon was over and followed up by sad faced crying women. Again I can appreciate the discussion being brought out to the table, but (in my eyes) it was a fail. A pity party. Black Woman

My argument for this documentary is a simple one. What angle of the “Dark Girls”, which should have been titled dark WOMEN, were you trying to show? Is there no deep toned women who feel that their dark skin has no effect on their relationships – personal or business? Is there no dark skin women who know that their skin is actually a badge of honor? Where are the women who have been taught from birth that they are beautiful? Has no one ever taught a dark skin woman to have self love??

I am completely unsure of the underlying effect this documentary wanted to have on its viewers, but I am sure that to empower our young dark skin women was no one of them. To try and cover all the dimensions of this type of conversation I feel that this should have been a series told by the black woman herself. This documentary is just that… just another.

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Disregarded Truth.

DEAR GOD, 99 problems

At some point I really wish my community would stop being SHEEP. Molly is crack’s cousin on steroids. They need to be worried about something. Yolo is killing them. Turnt up wasn’t made for everyday and Rachet is not suppose to be a lifestyle. I love them to death. Please wake them up! The music they listen to is who they are becoming. I can’t deal…

Sincerely,
Your Ambitious, Shoe fanatic, Poet and daughter named Dutchess.

Born in the Morning.

As the sun rises…

I feel kissed by potential.

The overstanding of yesterday’s painlioness

and the win of today’s gain!

 

As the sun rises…

I know tomorrow brings better days.

I shall not cry or scream

but go forward with force!

 

As the sun rises…

I breathe then water hits my face.

Prayers go to MY God as I

strap up Madden’s to prepare for battle.

 

As the sun rises…

I feel my ancestors power.

Grasping their warrior spirits

I stretch and know that I AM AKINYI!

Born in the Morning…

As the sun rises.

Random Invalid Thoughts.

Closed eyed dark visions

Of audio waves from your esophagus

Paints pictures in my mind

That are…

Random Invalid Thoughts.Random Invalid Thoughts

Now I am

Sitting here loosely

Clinging to ideas of yesterdays

That will never come.

In this bubble are…

Touches with more pleasure than pain

But then again,

Why entertain these…

Random Invalid thoughts.

Broken sensations written on paper

As I think of you

I’m too late.

Patience is a virtue and wasting time is stupidity

One day will I have my prize?

MAY BE and maybe not.

I dream it happens soon because

I do not like these…

Random Invalid Thoughts.

Creeping.

Dear Future Husband,

I seen you last night when you crept out of bed. You were on your tip toes to make sure that you didn’t wake me… as you ran to use the phone. I swear I would never doubt your love. However, you know I have a inquiring mind. I waited for a second, then I followed. I heard you talking thru the garage door about how you managed to keep it a secret for so long. Sorry I opened the door and ruined the surprise for the morning. But either way, I EFFIN LOVE IT!! I always wanted a black on black two seater. I swear I never doubted your love.

Sincerely,

Your ambitious,Yahweh loving, shoe fanatic wife named Dutchess.

Late Night Satisfaction

The taste of chocolate

On the tongue

Dances like birds taking a bath

In the morning.

I love it.Strawberries_Dripping_Melting_Chocolate

Chocolate is…

The kiss I get

From my King in the evening

After he recognizes my dedication.

I breathe it.

Ask me what I want

And I’ll say chocolate.

Because I need it.

The energy I get is…

Better than a Red Bull.

I bleed this.

Oh sweet brown flavor…

Nothing compares to you.

When it’s stiff I’ll melt it

Down – with warm kisses.

Toss it back and forth

Between my lips then…

swallow – Oops!

My nipples perked

As I…

Taste – Sweet Satisfaction!

Top 5 Natural Hair Tips for Any Length

Hands In Hair Syndrome is something I AM dealing with…

5 Natural Hair TipsI stopped relaxing my hair in November 2009 and I stopped getting it professionally styled in June 2010. Since then I have learned a lot about natural hair in general simply because I had no choice – I’ve done a loooot of research. Lol. When I attend and host events Curlistas always ask me what I do to “grow” my hair. I’m always puzzled because I don’t “do” anything. BUT, there are a few things I have learned along the way that can help your hair if length is your goal.

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Yellow “Shea” Butter vs Ivory Shea Butter

SheaButter2     When most people think about Shea butter, they visualize a yellow thick hard butter.  This information is incorrect. The yellow butter is actually called African Butter and is from a totally different tree than Shea. The reason for the confusion stems from the marketing technique used by the Westerners and Europeans when the originally began to sell this product. African Butter comes from the nuts of a tree that grows in a dense forest in wet and shaded areas. There is no organic yellow Shea Butter. If you are being sold “Shea” Butter that is yellow and hard, it is African Butter.

African Butter does have similar properties to Shea Butter in that it aides in anti-aging, healing of the skin and conditioning of the hair. Organic Shea Butter is an ivory color, not white. East Africans describe the color as ivory because the tone is similar to that of an elephants tusk. Shea Butter also is much creamier than African Butter. The tree that produces the nuts of Shea Butter grows in the open Savanna. With that being said the trees are in totally different environments hence why the butters would be completely different.

african vs shea     Because of the high demand for “Shea” butter and the wrong marketing techniques used in the beginning some are adding yellow coloring into actual Shea to conform to the buyers idea of what it should look like. However, in adding color and other chemicals to it the natural properties of the Shea has been changed. In return it is being stripped and is no longer as beneficial to the consumer because adding things interfere with the natural abilities of Shea.

So the bottom line is yellow Shea butter is AFRICAN BUTTER and ivory Shea butter is Organic. I am in no means judging people who cannot or do (did, after you read this) not know the difference between the two. In all honestly this is new information to me as well!! I am sharing this new information because I think it will be helpful to everyone. In light of this new information I myself now have to go and purchase some organic creamier ivory Shea Butter.

Sincerely…

A Yahweh loving shoe fanatic Dutchess.

Hair Touching… Is it weird?

hair humor      Since I’ve been rocking my natural curlz and kinks I’ve noticed that people are actually curious and opinionated about my hair. Much more than when I was perming. I receive feel good compliments such as, “Wow! You really look good with natural hair. I like this look better on you.” Then there is the back hand compliments, “Well damn. Your natural hair is maaad nappy. When you perming it (lml). Sike nah, it looks good on you.” My face afterward =  -___- this chick just tried to blow my high (smh). And then there is THE REACH.

Out of all the responses one can get, this one leaves me the most puzzled on how to react to someone. I mean I totally understand their curiosity. There has been days when I am in the mirror amazed at how my hair spits in the face of gravity everyday. I pull on strands to release it slowly to see the curl pattern. I even gave myself a headache because it finally moves when I shake it. Truthfully, I don’t mind people wanting to touch my textured fro, but only when they ASK! It gives me a chance to chat it up about my 4c, the natural and store bought products I use and I can answer any questions or concerns they may have about doing it themselves. In my head I’m the star of the party, which is right up the alley of a Leo woman.

We, meaning family – friends and complete strangers, can chat as long as I have the time. Even joke about perms and hot combs. However, what I can’t stand is when we haven’t been properly introduced – or even if we have – and that individual just starts tugging on my hair asking questions. It drives me crazy… bout to slap her/him and #YeenEVENknoIT (LML)!! Oh hell no. They don’t even know how long it took me to play around with this 4c to get this defined braid out and now they messing it up. This is the part when I tilt the head, do the hand wave and make the face (0_O). That’s right I’m confused. Confused on how the hell am I now the rude one for not allowing you to pull on my hair. Next, it is the awkward silence.

I don’t know ladies. Am I handling the hair tuggers the right way?? It isn’t breaking up any friendships, but I know they probably feel some kind of way. Is it really my problem tho? Complete strangers I am not to concerned about, because they are rude for doing it. Has anyone else been thru similar experiences in their natural hair journey? If so, please share your story or comment below.

(P.S – My dentist is the worst of them all! An Asian woman.)

 

Sincerely….

A Yahweh loving shoe fanatic named Dutchess.

It doesn’t work for everyone

Looove Glamfun #4chair rocks